Binge eating #4

OMG 

I binged eat today again.
omg. omg. omg. after 16 days. I binged a BIG binge again. haish.
I have no idea what happened.
I was at my dining table using my laptop and suddenly I found myself in the kitchen grabbing packets of biscuits, mini cakes, jellies, chocolates, ALL the junk food I could find in the house. 

I guess one of the reason why is because I was alone. like really alone in my house, it was just me in the huge living room.

It felt so strong. The feeling of binging felt SO DAMN F**KING STROOONG.
I couldn't control it. I really, really, really couldn't. I feel so shitty that I have no self-control. omgggggg. 

This binge, I have to record it down no matter what and no matter where. I'm sorry if this post is boring but just skip it if you don't wanna read about my rant on my binge today. 

It felt like my soul left my body and my arms and legs were just forced to walk and take as much food as they can and stuff my stomach till it's big and bloated.

yes body, well done, now my stomach looks like a cow's gut. 

I'm gonna get back on track again.

I know I keep falling down, badly. but I have to get up.

I can't just stay on the ground forever, right ..?

sigh. :/

Comments

  1. Girrrrl you've confessed now get back up and don't do it again haha
    I know how hard it is sometimes, your body doesn't even listen, but for me those days are near my t.o.m. ugh.
    Just work out and keep out any junk that will tempt you! Drink tons of water if your craving! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know .. but sometimes my mind and body just don't want to listen and all they wanna do is eat, eat and eat. Doesn't want to exercise, doesn't want to take a nap, doesn't want to play games, doesn't want to do anything, just eat. D:
      My mouth wants to chew and taste something good, so sometimes water doesn't really help much D:
      I guess the only way is to have more control over myself and change my thinking and habits :/

      Delete
  2. No matter how many times one fall, always get back up!

    Also.. I have a question out of curiosity and lack of knowledge about binging.. but I was wondering.. What if there were no food in the house? Would it maybe help?

    - Sally
    www.esohlee.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that would help quite alot. But because of my other family members who don't binge and can control themselves, they buy tons of snacks and biscuits and chocolate and all that junk and leave them in the house.
      I told them about it but they're like "oh, just eat 1 packet or something and just stop"
      But because they don't understand the feeling of binging and that sometimes I just can't control myself. I really can't. :(
      But I am gonna build up my self-control and try to resist binging and turn to something else instead of eating :)

      Delete

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