Sigh, why do I binge ?

I don't know why I binge, but I think I somehow know why. LOL.

After such a massive binge ( I just had one like, few minutes ago D: ) I feel so angry, so frustrated with myself. Like I can't do anything, I can't stop myself. I feel useless

and then I'll start thinking of going on a diet and then after a couple of weeks I'll binge again. Like a HUGE HUGE HUGE binge. and then my stomach feels so pain and bloated but yet I can't do anything.

I hate that feeling of "I can't do anything". It just makes you feel so, sad and mad.

I don't know why I just keep thinking about food. like "what shall I eat after I wake up?" , "what shall I eat when I end school?" , "what shall I eat when I end work?"

it's like there is NOTHING else on my mind EXCEPT FOOD.

I feel like I've fucked up my life.

I don't know what to do. 


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